You know how you live in DC, so you really feel like you should know what’s happening in Congress? You know how sometimes, you don’t? That’s why we’ve started On the Hill. It’s like your political crib sheet, with the boring stuff cut out.

If you happen to slide into the Capitol Lounge for a drink this month, offer to buy the Capitol Hill staffers sitting around you a beer. They had a rough January.

Several lawmakers and their staff began combating the fall-out from the guilty plea of disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff, a move that could result in a trade-in of those cuff links and suits for handcuffs and an  orange jumpsuit.

Georgia Democrat Cynthia McKinney introduced the “Tupac Amaru Shakur Records Collection Act of 2005” at the end of last year, directing Congress to “provide for the expeditious disclosure of records relevant to the life and death of Tupac Amaru Shakur.” Seriously, we can’t make this stuff up. Look for this gem in the Committee on Government Reform and on MTV’s "Total Request Live."

The Iraq war continues to be a problem for House Democratic leaders Nancy Pelosi (Calif.) and her number two Steny Hoyer (Md.), who have four positions on the war between them. John Kerry, former Democratic presidential candidate (remember him? No? I don’t either.) has changed his position again (He’s against it! For now!) but reiterated that he’s won three purple hearts. Good for you, John!

In the Senate, the biggest game in town was the confirmation hearings for Associate Justice nominee Samuel Alito, which can only described with two words: “super duper.” No, wait, that’s how he described the precedent of the ever-contentious abortion case, Roe v. Wade. (Again, we’re totally serious.) Super duper? Okee Dokee, Sam. While Democrats tried to make intellectually moving statements about Alito’s rulings on abortion, Republicans tried to restrain themselves from holding up giant foam “#1” fingers of support.

Another issue hot in the Senate? Domestic spying. Much to the  dismay of some senators, a fabled historic document called the Constitution was discovered that just might say that the entire practice is illegal…but the jury is still out. President Bush argued that Congress authorized him to do anything necessary to protect the country against terror after September 11. Congressional Democrats say they meant, “anything but that.” 

The first few weeks of 2006 have been so hectic, it seems likely that Washingtonians will continue to find respite taking in their annual average of 3.5 gallons of alcohol per person—second only to Las Vegas. Which isn’t that much of a surprise. After all what happens in Washington stays…on the front page of every major publication in the country.
Cheers.